person: wanna hear a funny story?
person: *tells story anyway*
textpostsrus: masticatingtocorn: lameborghini: people are gross i want to be a dog dogs lick their own ass humans lick each others asses
scraggay: boys that look good with both beards and no beards are the most lethal kinds of boys
tupacabra: the forced laughter at a video that a friend shows you because you don’t want them to feel bad
patoisprettyfly: fuckyeahnorwegian: Et vennskap blir tatt til nye høyder når en ser hverandres bunad. I don’t speak viking but that looks metal as fuck.
Norwegians: our annual three hours of summer is over. now back to winter.
horse-feces: twerks-of-being-a-wallflower: davestrjder: “haha 420 blaze it” i chuckle as i light another vanilla scented incest vanilla scented incest
gothlolita: im Sorry but you two cant get the marriage. the bible said Adam and Eve not matthew and ashley. come back when youve legally changed your names
cnnbreaking: *gets A on test* .02% rise on grade *gets C on test*
bidenette: it was the besta bynes it was the worsta bynes
mermaidsandmisandry: things i dont need in my life: wasps those stringy things on the banana commercials on youtube
Hank's Tumblr: Thoughts on the Yahoo! Thing →
edwardspoonhands: First, I love Tumblr and want to keep loving it. And yes, it is immediately terrifying to hear that Yahoo (which, from a lot of our perspectives, is a laughably backwards and culturally irrelevant company) is going to own Tumblr. I sympathize. But there are a number of circumstances in which…
armisael: i was reading a list of pancake flavors at this restaurant and one was buttermilk chocochip and i read it as benedict cumberbatch
How to break up with someone
You: Your ex is attractive.
Partner: Which one?
fancifullauren: irishfangirlshipper: dorkstrider: why do women’s clothing designers believe that girls do not need pockets It’s so they can sell us bags
awkwardvagina: one time my friend asked me to make a playlist for a road trip because their car radio didnt work so i made one that consisted of 14 different versions of party in the usa and long story short im not trusted with bringing music anymore
ghosthug: swaggie: je swag, tu swags, il/elle/on swag, nous swagons, vous swagez, ils/elles swagent
How to make Piñata cookies!
nijisplash: mischievousmelancholic: nada-interessante: !!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
wolfcifer: You’re walking in the woods There’s no one around and your phone is dead Out of the corner of your eye you spot him: gay opera dubstep vampire
iwillalwaysshipyou: in Europe we don’t say ‘I love you’ we say “12 points to…” which translates to “you are close to me” and I think that’s beautiful
secretlymisha: as far as i can tell from my dash there’s some sort of gay musical olympics going on that only europe was invited to